i freaking miss you baby. i miss your words and i miss your smile. sometimes yesterday keeps coming back but i guess it will keep coming back until i get stronger. i do wish we had more time. i’m sorry i pushed you away. i can’t stop thinking about it. rethinking, even. i could have just not driven away, but i keep rationalizing why i did. i guess i need an excuse for everything. but i wanted to say that i’m sorry. you know, oddly enough, even though it should’ve made me feel like loving you less, i still love you more. i hurt you by leaving, and so you hurt me by saying things, but because you did, i guess you’re tougher than me. at least you fight back, you fight for yourself, while i just run away. i run away all the time. i don’t know why i’m saying these things. but you overwhelm me with love, even after what happened. it hurts sometimes, but sometimes feeling hurt isn’t too bad. i now understand your love; and i’m sorry for mistaking it for something else. because we did the same thing to each other, but in different ways.

you are the one. i’m glad i have you. i’m sorry i’m so far away right now… and hopefully you can come see me. if not, i guess i’ll be some in something like 31 days. it sounds so far away. a month sounds shorter. either way, it’s a long time for me and i can’t stop thinking about you. i’d be lying if i said, i wish you were too but if you weren’t, it doesn’t matter. but you know what, maybe it doesn’t really matter if you’re thinking about me all the time like i am thinking about you.

baby, i do wish i were in your arms right now, me breathing you in. i love you.